Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
