Already got asked if we're dating
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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