Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
