There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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