so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
