next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize