please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
