Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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