whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
