Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
