Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
