I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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