how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
