I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
