just tell him i said nine months
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
