I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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