12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
