dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
