In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
