You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
