it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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