She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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