Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
