Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
