He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
