She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
