do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
