Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm getting married
To pizza
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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