apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
