At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
