please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
