You made me cry and you don't even care
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
