That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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