she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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