I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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