Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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