The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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