jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
