I wanna bring you to show and tell
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
