You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
