I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
