You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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