gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
