I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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