I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
