My nipple is on Facebook.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
