I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
jump out the window naked night went bad
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