Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
