Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
