You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
