Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Randomize
